Q: As the days and weeks pass since the reading of this book, is there something that sticks with you about the story of Claudia, Pattie, Julia, Ann?

Their story has been on my mind long after I closed the cover in completion of the book. Two things that I keep thinking about:

1. How these 4 women formed an incredible bond of friendship based on ONE thing in common at first: the tragic loss of their husbands on 9/11. They didn't have kids in one playgroup, weren't college buddies, neighbors, church family. It was all because they shared the tragic deaths of their spouses. Yet, their friendships were rock solid and they became a tight group that could cling to each other like no other unit could. This gives me the desire to cement my own girlfriend relationships with depth, love, being there when the going is tough. Crying, laughing, mourning, celebrating, eating out, talking/not talking...it's all part of the bigger plan. Life is for the living. You have choices to make and the best choice is to acknowlege great loss, grieve in your own way for as long as it takes you and then try, with the supprt of others, to move forward and on to life again. It may be a different life, one still very much worth living.



2.How haunting it is not to get to say 'Good-bye.' Each woman replayed the morning they spent before their husbands left for work that fateful day. They probably replayed it daily for a long, long time. And wished for time to be stopped so they could have prevented their husband going out the door. Yet, time cannot be stopped and the day unfolded never to be taken back. How totally haunting for these women. How do you get over it and on with life?

Just yesterday, I found out my estranged brother had died. I never got to say 'Good-bye' and will never talk to him again. I am haunted with thoughts of reconcilliation, explanation, and could this have been prevented? Could I have gone back in time to erase some of the hurts?
Now, I will have to deal with the present from a painful past. I think of Julia, Ann, Claudia and Pattie with more empathy now. And realize we must passionately love our husbands, children, siblings, parents, friends and neighbors right here, right now as if we could finish our "business" with no regrets.